End of Days?

 

Jesus was distracted from battling the antichrist by having to shoot Curt Schilling in the ankle as divine punishment for being an obnoxious loudmouth
Those over-hyperbolic commentators and fans who claimed that the Red Sox win in the World Series last season marked the 'end of the world' might have been closer to the mark than many of of us originally believed. If major league baseball is to be used as a barometer of armageddon, the signs that this year is all topsy-turvy are many and portentious:

Baseball actually develops a anabolic steroids testing policy.

The Orioles lead the AL East.

MLB returns to DC, and the team doesn't stink.

John Smoltz is a starting pitcher.

Toronto has 46 variations on the basic home/road uniforms.

Randy Johnson.

and most terrifying of all, Manny Ramirez is leading the American League in a fielding category.

I live in daily fear of David Wells splitting open at the mound and Beelzebub crawling out of his chest cavity along the lines of Alien or Men in Black (because as we all know, inside every fat pitcher there is a Lara Flynn Boyle waiting to get out). If Oil Can Boyd makes it back to the majors, don't be surprised if the water in church fonts starts to boil and Dennis Eckersley's moustache falls out.

Death to the Obvious Narrative

One of my lesser known minor passions is motor racing. I'm no gearhead, nor do I aspire to tour the ovals of America in a stars and bars wrapped RV, but a series of visits to pit lane at our local short track when the radio company I worked for ran its own (champion) racing team was enough to stir an interest. Its a sport, people go fast, its loud, and there is beer for the fans. Count me in. So it was no real surprise to me when I found myself glancing now and then this afternoon at the TV to check on the status of the Indianapolis 500. Its open wheel (yawn), but its a tradition.

The big story this year was the prospect of rookie Danica Patrick winning the race. The story didn't originate from the fact that rookies are rarely so keenly favored, but because she is a woman. I'm not naive enough to be shocked or offended at the patronizing, gape-mouthed "she's got boobies and a HANS device" reporting, but as the race progressed today it became depressingly apparent that her chromosonal arrangement was much more important in the eyes of the commentators than her astonishing ability behind the wheel. Motor racing ain't sumo; physical strength is less of a deciding factor than mental stamina. Patrick drove very well, out of her skin in effect given a pair of rookie errors (stalling in the pits and clipping another car at a restart that tore up her nose cone) and finished fourth after expertly coaxing a car rapidly losing fuel equilibrium across the yard of bricks.

Mention she is "the first woman to..." once or twice, sure. But the tone of patronizing astonishment that accompanied her impressive drive was offensive to everyone, regardless of gender. If you are disinclined to agree with me, take a second to find a soundclip or transcript of the commentary and insert "African American" or "Jewish" for the constant repetition of the word "woman" and see how degrading and infantile ABC's coverage was.

Truth in Folklore

 

I don't know about here but over in England young adolescent males entering puberty have been warned since time imemorial that "if you don't stop it, you'll go blind."

Now it seems that old wives tale may have a ring of truth to it, as the FDA is investigating links between Viagra and Cilais (the one with the porno music in its commercials) and sight loss.

Now the dirty old men will really be groping in the dark.

Radio Plug + Bonus Idiots

Its Thursday, so once again those of you with a bizarre need to find out what music I like and what I sound like should zip over to Radio Free Rockland and jump into our webstream from 8-10pm tonight for Weasel (Wisdom) Holdings, Inc's weekly presentation of "Elvis Parsley's Late Late Breakfast Show". This week; Gallup's Top Ten Downloaded Ring Tone Sounds and more!

Also, as promised, bonus idiots: BBC NEWS, England: Two hurt in mock light sabre duel

Ohh, Can You Hear Milan Sing? I Can't Hear A F**king Thing.

 

Congratulations Liverpool. Today, English national heroes (despite being a team of pan-global mercenaries coached by a Spaniard) tomorrow, back to being annoying Scousers. But before the animosity and rivalry creeps back in to our marrow, let us one more time revel together: you left the shire, crossed the English Channel and showed Johnny Foreigner who invented the bloody game of football. Good show.
 

Best BBC photo caption of the day: 'Milan captain Paolo Maldini tears off his losers' medal'

The Web That Unites Us And Makes Us Stronger

I love the internet. Mrs. Weasel and I have been flipping off Hummer drivers as a matter of principle since the first road model hit the streets of Maine a couple of years back (I personally feel we should do the same to Yukons and Suburbans too but she stops me). Now thanks to Listmaker's link to Stay Free! Daily I have learned that we are not alone:FUH2 | Fuck You And Your H2.

I think this proves that swearing at Hummer drivers is a natural thing to do, as geographic separation is no impediment to the independent development of finger giving campaigns across the United States.

This Is Not A Baseball Blog 4

The last word on the subject (for now):
 

Terry Francona with an off-season beard
 

Hamid Karzai, President of Afghanistan

Should this not be enough, how about the Sox management as Sopranos?

Son Of Norfolk Smashed The French: You Can't Change History.

 

This gun was fired at the French and Spanish, not 'red' or 'blue' forces

"A re-enactment of the Battle of Trafalgar is not an opportunity for "French-bashing", says the Royal Navy.
Instead of the British taking on a French/Spanish fleet at next month's event to mark the battle's bicentenary a "red" force will take on a "blue"...
BBC: Battle must not 'bash' French"

Bloody hell. This is terrible; not only is this an example of political correctness gone mad, its turned me into some harrumphing purple face little Englander who uses phrases like "this an example of political correctness gone mad". In my defence, I'll admit to having an Admiral Nelson (the most famous son of Norfolk) portrait and two reproduction Royal Navy recruiting posters ("If you love your country and king, damn the pope, and hate the French.." as one starts) hanging in my house, fond childhood memories of touring Nelson's flagship HMS Victory on multiple occasions, and a habit of talking or typing Patrick O'Brien style dialogue around grand sporting events. Bollocks to them; they lost, we won. You don't see me blubbing every July 4th, do you?

No Joy In Mudville?

Mrs. Weasel's mother recently bought a new house in a more rural area (sic) of Bar Harbor, necessitating my lovely consort to take a trip up to the Island of Misfit Toys to retrieve various artefacts from her childhood home before they were scheduled an appointment with the dump.

As a life-long Red Sox fan the armfuls of grade- and middle school ephemera Mrs. W toted in to the house upon her return today had a real Fenway feel. Along with the long distance microscopic outfielder studies of Mike Greenwell ("I'd recognize that moustache anywhere" quoth Mrs. W upon being challenged as to her stck figure identification prowess) and bullpen candids of Oil Can Boyd warming up was one real find; an original Mrs. W poem from the 6th Grade titled "A Boston Fan's Fantasy".
Given the lowered expectations of the Fenway faithful, it doesn't describe Ellis Burks hoisting the World Series trophy (I'm sure she won't mind me recounting her tears of joy when she finally got to see that last year) but rather a face-off between the Sox and the Athletics, circa 1989. With her kind permission, her magnum opus is reproduced below:

A Boston Fan's Fantasy
Oh Fenway, my Fenway,
Green walls reach to the heavens,
In out field the Greenwell, Burks,
And Dwight Evans

Fans have fun,
Doing the wave,
While in the sun,
The players slave.

The Citgo sign,
In Copley Square,
Can be seen,
When the weather's fair.

Hot dogs taste good,
So do the pretzels.
On the mound,
Towers Eric Hetzel.

Red Sox and A's,
Ready to fight.
They will play,
Well into the night.

As you may know,
This is the game of the season.
Whoever wins will celebrate,
For a very good reason.

The A's are leading,
How could this be?
Boggs can't hit,
He has a sprained knee.

Boston's down by three and bases loaded,
Two outs were on.
Bruno is up,
The pitch is .....gone?

Oh gosh it's a hit!
A grand slam!
Everyone is cheering,
Hugging, even the fans.

The hero is Bruno,
Oh yes it is he,
Who had been in a slump,
Then won it just for me.

This Is Not A Baseball Blog 3

 

Tito Francona
 

Audioslave's Tom Morello

"They Blew Up Their Poster Boy"

 

The above is a quote from Pat Tilman Sr, the father of Pat Jr late of the Arizona Cardinals NFL franchise and the the US Army Rangers. Tilman Jr was shot by his own men who mistook him for the enemy while fighting in Afghanistan. The Army, mindful of the fact that Tilman was a celebrity- indeed the closest thing this generation of recruiters had to a Ted Williams in Korea or James Stewart in the Second World War- made up a battle myth about the poor man, essentially claiming publicly that he was killed while single-handedly charging a multitude of enemy, dagger clenched in teeth and armed only with the sharp end of the staff of the American flag he was carrying. In short, they tried to leverage the death of a young man who used to be paid to play games in order to influence kids. Why should we be surprised? They did similar with Jessica Lynch, except she inconvenienced the Pentagon by living.

What the PR people and the slick-handed Generals who stage manage American military death didn't count on was the refusual to play along by Tilman's family. After feeding them a line of horseshit while the media frenzy swept around them and the dead football player, they quietly let them in on the truth after the national spotlight moved on. Proving that incompetent management in the US military does not restrict itself to the supply chain, post war planning, prison management, or even standing up to a president who's on a mission from God to start the wrong bloody war while another one is still going on departments, the flacks and spinners at the Pentagon blew it, and the Tilmans are out to see heads roll for the callous disregard for the loss of their son. MSNBC has a good article from the Washington Post on the shameful incident:

"After a tour in Iraq, their unit was sent to Afghanistan in spring 2004, where they were to hunt for the Taliban and Osama bin Laden. Shortly after arriving in the mountains to fight, Tillman was killed in a barrage of gunfire from his own men, mistaken for the enemy as he got into position to defend them. Immediately, the Army kept the soldiers on the ground quiet and told Tillman's family and the public that he was killed by enemy fire while storming a hill, barking orders to his fellow Rangers. After a public memorial service, at which Tillman received the Silver Star, the Army told Tillman's family what had really happened, that he had been killed by his own men."
Tillman's parents lash out at Army

For a rememberance of the non-famous war dead from New England alone (with memorial day just around the corner, after all) visit here.

Dad's Newest Composition

In a recent blog entry on the wonders of Walid Jumblatt's musical name I mentioned that my dad used to compose little ditties to sing in the car that used the Lebanese militia leader's euphonious handle. I also suggested that he was not so musically inclined when it came to African leaders. Thanks to the magic of email I stand corrected. Please be upstanding for my father's latest magnum opus, "The Random African Leaders Of The Last 20 Years Rag":

"All well with us interesting one of your recent blogs; you obviously do not recall (to the tune of "Jerusalem");

And did Dr Hastings Banda of Malawi
Drink tea with Mangasuti Buthwelesii
On the top of Spion Kop
And did Bishop Desesmond
have a tea cake too oo oo oo oh
And did the sandals of Jomo Kenyata
Walk the Isandlewanda Road ....."
 

The man in the crown is a highly talented and esteemed aviation engineer. The woman in the boa is no relation. Its amazing what comes up when one googles one's dad.

Friday Grab Bag

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Gratuitous Self Promotion

 

Comin' up pop pickers, its Three Dog Night!

I was talking to my boss on the way to the dump this morning and it was decided that I love creating pseudonyms for myself (the latest, "Mr. Paperbacon" was suggested by one of her close friends and is an outstanding riff on my real last name). As the precient among you will have guessed, "Wisdom Weasel" is not my given name; nor is "Dirk Thrust" (if I was the hero of a Tom Clancy novel); nor is "Cowboy Danny Porkchop (country singer); and nor is my former radio persona, "Elvis Parsley"(aka "Eelpiss Parsnips").

The difference with "Elvis Parsley" is that I used to be paid to go by that stupid moniker. About six months ago I dusted off "Elvis" and resurrected him for a low-key radio show I do on our local all volunteer low power FM station, Radio Free Rockland (motto: "100w of Pure Power"). As much as I hate to self-promote, thanks to the wonders of the internet you can hear "Elvis Parsley's Late Late Breakfast Show" on Thursday nights from 8pm-10pm eastern (tonight! Yippee!) via our programming stream, which can be found here. There is very little innovative content, the music is defiantly personal and middlebow, and I spend most of the time yelling in a reedy English accent but I thought I'd put it out there.

For those of you (and there have been many over time) who wonder where the name Elvis Parsley came from, I have proof that the "He was a terrible British boxer" story is true.

A Firing Offense? More Like A Capital Offense

I think this man was fired less for brand disloyalty, and more for displaying a worrying lack of judgement and taste:

Man Claims Firing Over Drinking Wrong Beer
Tuesday, May 17, 2005: MILLIKEN, Colo. - A former supervisor at a Budweiser distributorship says he was fired for drinking a Coors beer in public.

Ross Hopkins, 41, filed suit in Weld County District Court, saying American Eagle Distributing Co. has no right to tell him what kind of beer to drink when he is off-duty. Hopkins said he was fired in May 2003 after the son-in-law of the distributorship owner saw him drinking Coors in a Greeley bar.

Jeff Bedingfield, an attorney for American Eagle, declined to discuss the specifics of the lawsuit but said "there are two sides to every story."

In its court response, American Eagle said Hopkins was fired "for conduct that relates to a bona fide occupational requirement that is reasonably and rationally related to the employment activities and responsibilities of a particular employee."

The court filing does not directly challenge Hopkins' claim that he was fired, at least in part, for drinking Coors in public.

As Jamie over at The Shrewdness of Apes will no doubt concur, Coors drinkers should take this warning to heart. Perhaps this story also proves that being associated with Budweiser, indeed being associated with any cheapskate European style beer made from rice, reduces one's critical faculties. In any event I think this makes the case for avoiding both Coors and Budweiser if reasons of flavor alone were not enough.

Indeed, it makes one recall the pithy words of George Bernard Shaw*:
"Why is Coors Light like having sex in a canoe? Because both are fucking close to water."
(*Or someone else.)
 
Piss
 
Beer

A Fabulously Bile Filled Letter

Occasional visitors to Wisdom Weasel may know that one of my simple pleasures is tilting Don Quixote-like at corporate and media windmills through the venerable and civilized art of writing letters dripping with invective. No doubt the front offices and personal assistants of my epistolic victims consider me a nut, and it is rare to receive a reply, but recent signs have shown that I'm not alone in this enjoyable pursuit. First, Henry over at the Big Ball recently serialized and excellent battle of words with Ticketmaster. Then my pal, the writer and movie professor 'Montana' Mike Janover finally snapped and had a crack at the poor, clueless David Broder. Mike's email follows:

"Sometimes these so-called journalists just piss me off. FYI, my letter to David Broder, Washington Post, who suggests says "the Democrats would be well advised to make a serious counteroffer rather than just reject Frist's overture." Frist's overture, in case you don't know, is to allow the Democrats to complain for 100 hours and then roll over and play dead forever. - Mike

----- Original Message -----
From: Mike Janover
To: davidbroder@washpost.com
Sent: Friday, May 13, 2005 6:00 PM
Subject: Your opinion

Rather than calling Bill Frist's nuclear option for what it is -- a big, bold step toward authoritarianism -- you suggest that the Democrats capitulate and come up with something more acceptable to the Republicans. For too long, the Democrats have served as human doormats, and now you suggest that they need be even more conciliatory. Since you can't refrain from giving your unasked-for idiotic advice to Democrats, allow me to offer you a suggestion: Please stop writing. Your opinions are insipid and lame. You lack wisdom, courage, and (I suspect) independent thought. The only remote value you seem to have as a television or print journalist is that your resemblance to a human muppet occasionally makes me want to laugh. Sadly, Mr. Broder, that's not much of a raison d'etre."

I like the fact that I have grumpy friends who enjoy yelling. It is very cathartic.

I Shall Face Defeat With Equanimity And A Desire To Return

 

Sounds like a good MacArthur or even Gandhi quote, don't it? Actually I just made it up to sound grandiloquent (see? There I go again!). Norwich City FC relegated in emphatic fashion after a 6-0 prison rape by Fulham and most improbably West Bromich Albion taking the rope ladder that was intended for us. Up again next year perhaps, in the yo-yo way of many of the clubs whose stadiums seat a mere 25,000 or 30,000 and who draw support from the less fashionable rural margins of England. I hope we don't suffer another decade of genteel decline in the old new First Division.

If there is a cloud to this silver lining (aside from the possible financial instability of Man U under Glazer; not strictly relevant but a great chance for schadenfreude) it is that both Norwich fans and players may be able now to answer the call to arms found in the local Norwich/Norfolk paper, the Eastern Daily Press, this morning:
EDP24 - Circus is looking for local talent

For You Fritz, The War Is A Hobby That Takes Place on Weekends & Public Holidays

 

They have a bloody Tiger tank! I want one.

With the 60th anniversary of the end of the Second World War in Europe just past it seems journalists have had their antenae twitching for buried and unusual stories related to the dark days of 1939-45. Last week there was a lot of coverage of Germans who fought for the allies, life on Britain's occupied Channel Islands, and the Soviet occupation of the Baltic states. This week, the BBC website has come up trumps with a look at Second World War reenactors, specifically a bunch of Brits who impersonate the German 116th Panzer Division.

I've always found reenactors a little odd (not least because after one heavy drinking session in a olde worlde pub, Walter Mondale emerged from the bathroom to find a bunch of English Civil War reenactors sitting around in full 17th Century costume, prompting him to believe that we had traveled through time) but I do have some empathy for the ones who choose to be Romans, Vikings, or English and American Civil War types. Its fun to dress up and fire guns- its why people join the army- and there's a real upside to knowing you won't die or have to endure forced marches in full kit. However, despite their claims to have no political motive, it does strike me as a little peculiar to want to spend your weekends pretending to be a bold defender of the Third Reich. I wonder if there is interest in forming an Al Qadea reenactment group, or a Baath Party one? This is yet another confirmation for me to go with the endless WWII programing on the History Channel that despite public abhorrence for the tenets of Nazism, a significant (mostly male) tranche of the British and American public finds something alluring about the iconography of Hitler's Germany.

The BBC story is here: BBC NEWS: "Can war games cause serious offence?
Rather than wash the car or put up shelves this weekend, you could put on the costume of a warrior from history. Dressing up as a roundhead or a Roman is an option, but what about a soldier of Nazi Germany? Groups who spend time, money and effort in recreating the army held responsible for one of the darkest moments in human history are sometimes regarded as crackpots and extremists...."


And the homepage of the 116 Panzer Division reenactors is here: : Der Windhund
"These living history re-enactors show the fighting man of the German Army during the closing stages of the War. After the D-Day invasion of Normandy on June 6th 1944, the Germans went mainly onto the defensive. Squeezed ever tighter they struggled on with ever diminishing resources.
AFRA members try to replicate the equipment and clothing used by these men to bring to life a little piece of History. By preserving vehicles etc. they are able to bring the public closer to what is now termed modern history."

As of 7:30pm Eastern on Wednesday, Norwich are Still in the Premiership

Of course, they haven't played the last game of the season yet. As Walter Mondale notes, this week is a little stressful for fans of the humble and plucky Canaries. "Survival Sunday" sees four teams in a race to claim the last place in the English Premier League. Only two points seperate last from 17th and survival and with a win worth 3 points and a draw/tie worth 1 we are all dependent on other teams' misfortune to claim our spot in the sun for next year. Come Sunday night, one town will celebrate, three others will prepare for life in the low-rent world of the Football League Championship next season. In England, political and sporting collapses are cruel and speedy. Inshallah, the maths and the results will go our way for once and Norwich will escape by the skin of our teeth. It has to be left to fate and luck, as unless something magical happens the closest I'll get to having any say over our fate will be confined to modelling it on this:
 

Throw Another Clam on The Bake, The Cabots are Popping Round

 

Ahh, sometimes I forget how good I have it just by virtue of luck and geography. There are idiots who move to Maine from away and spend a million dollars to buy an acre of coastline while I can meander through town to Camden Hills State Park and see it for free. Or I can go visit Mrs. Weasel's mother up in Bar Harbor and after living there for 8 years find the perfect tourist-free hidden cove for lunch. And my free access to iconic American coastline does not stop at the Piscataqua Bridge and the New Hampshire border: this weekend we are off to Cape Cod to visit Mrs. Weasel's father, The Very Reverend Liberal Thunderer. I must say I get a warm feeling everytime I think about the upcoming visit; we haven't seen the Thunderer and Sonja in an age, and the dogs will be glad to see their Massachusetts' counterparts; and in my minds eye I have images of me and Mrs. Weasel walking sandy beaches as the dune roses begin to bloom, breathing salt marsh air, and eating al fresco off checkered blankets. Of course, it is forecast to rain and the traffic will be hellacious, but one can dream. Now, if only I can get the Norwich vs. Fulham game projected on the drive-in screen in Wellfleet my weekend will be complete...

An Age Old Conundrum Answered

 

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its a rebel with nothing but contempt for the mores of conventional society:

"Chicken Ticketed for Crossing the Road.
Monday, May 9, 2005, RIDGECREST, Calif. - Linc and Helena Moore may have finally learned the answer to that age-old question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the chicken doesn't know jaywalking is illegal.

Kern County Sheriff's Deputy J. Nicholson does know, however. The deputy issued a ticket March 26 because one of the couple's chickens allegedly impeded traffic in Johannesburg, a rural mining community near Ridgecrest, some 220 miles northeast of Los Angeles.

The Moores were in Superior Court on Friday to plead not guilty. A trial was scheduled for May 16.

Nicholson has declined to discuss the matter, but sheriff's Sgt. Francis Moore said chickens on the roadway have been a problem in the community of 50 residents. Officials didn't believe it could be resolved by simply issuing the couple a warning.

"Sometimes you have to let people talk to the judge," Moore said.

The chicken's owners say they believe they were cited because they were among several people who complained that sheriff's deputies haven't done enough to control off-road vehicle riders who create dust and noise in their neighborhood.

Sheriff's officials say that isn't so, adding they are doing what they can to keep off-roaders away from homes.

"The chicken thing has nothing to do with the motorcycle thing," Moore said.

Two Questions

Question One: why do commercials for Kentucky Fried Chicken use the song “Sweet Home Alabama”? That’s lazy, retarded, or both. It’s like using “New York, New York” to sell Chicago-style pizza.

Question two: since when has US law been based on the 10 Commandments? US law is based on English law, which at the time of the Revolutionary War and the drafting of the constitution was a product of Acts of Parliament and Anglo-Saxon tribal common law. Law on both sides of the Atlantic is the product of legislative action, legal precedent, and traditions that date back to the pantheistic pre-christian days of Rome and Greece. Indeed, there is a strong argument that modern US law owes more to Hammurabi's code than the bible.

I think this has been missed in the current brouhaha over so-called ‘activist’ judges (judges are supposed to be fairly activist: that is why the judiciary is a branch of the government in the US). At best conservative critics of the judiciary are ill informed about the historical traditions of jurisprudence and seem to be confusing morality with law. Morality informs law; it is not the source of law. The 10 commandments are not the basis for our laws, and do not warrant a mention in the constitution (the ‘creator’ is invoked in the Declaration of Independence and the constitution but in the context of endowing rights not codifying responsibilities). The 10 commandments are in fact batting .300 when it comes to becoming law; murder, perjury and robbery will land you in jail but coveting, worshipping false idols, and the others won’t result in a visit from the sheriff.

So once again the dangers of neglecting history in schools and lazy or fearful journalism are apparent in our everyday conversations (to describe the dialogue charitably). Too bad you can’t sue people for misrepresenting the past.

Blair's Future With Bush

For those of you who are wondering exactly how domestic electoral minutae on a wee Atlantic island effects life in these here United States, the BBC has very kindly provided some informed yet speculative punditry as to the impact of Blair's reduced majority and spectacular unpopularity on the Special Relationship and other foreign policy questions:

"The clipping of Tony Blair's wings by a British electorate angry over Iraq probably means that the highly activist and interventionist foreign policy which marked his first two terms will be diminished...The alliance between Mr Blair and US President George W Bush is likely to be weakened. American policy will therefore be framed with the British far less in mind."
BBC NEWS: Election 2005. Blair's wings clipped abroad

Morning After

 

The preceeding post (from last night at 11pm or so) is what happens when you think you are over your love of the Labour Party and then the town where your parents live goes from Labour to Tory. I was tired and grumpy and a little disconsolate.

Still in the bright light of day:
a) The Conservatives did not improve on their share of the vote even while claiming seats and did not even match the electoral performance of the Michael Foot-lead Labour Party at their weakest ebb against Thatcher in 1983. Michael Howard, the immigrant baiting son of immigrants and all round cynical nasty piece of work, will step down as the Tory leader, causing yet more chaos and civil war in that benightened organization.

b) The Liberal Democrats were the only party to gain vote percentage and also reached an all time high of 62 seats (so far). Indeed, many of the Tory victories in former Labour seats came about due to a strong performance by the Liberal Democrats in that constituency.

c) We have a Labour government. Not a perfect government, but not the Tories. Also, its a Labour government who, unlike in 2001, will be disinclined to misread the signals sent by the voters and hopefully will display less arrogance and more critical thinking. With many of Blair's automotons whittled from the rightward leaning seats, maybe the more progressive wing of the party can assert more influence. Maybe this time Blair and Brown can draw inspiration from the example of Clement Attlee led 1945 Labout government rather than from Mrs. Thatcher. Even so, this is what being a Tory in 1992 must have felt like.

d) George Galloway is the man I least want to be the voice of the anti-war hard left in Parliament, but you can't win them all.

One More

St Albans, home to my parents: Conservative from Labour. Its like Westchester County so I shouldn't be surprised but it somehow shows that the dream of 1997 is, if not dead, then staggering to the grave. Blair, what promise you threw away!
Once again, a progressive/liberal party sought the middle-right ground, saw some initial great success, then the milk begins to sour. Much like the American Democrats and what they lost from 1992 to 2004, I'm begining to worry that even the modest social justice change won by Labour will be for naught as the years whittle away at their majority.
No more triangulations or third ways; it only pushes the right further right and into demogoguery and hate politics. Here its gay people and judges, in Britain, immigrants. Its not going to be pretty for the next four to five years.

Final Update

CSPAN cut away from coverage just as things were getting interesting. It's like the time in 2002 that our local ABC affiliate decided to pre-empt the World Cup final with an infommercial. Bastards.
Well, Norfolk South stayed Tory, Norwich and Ipswich stayed Labour, and no news yet as I prepare for bed on St Albans. Rural Cambridgeshire and Suffolk are pretty much true blue Conservative as always.
The big news on a confusing night is that the Tories are mounting a modest resurgence against the big target of a sitting Labour government- bad news for immigrants and sensible reality based politics I fear. The Liberal Democrats are on course for their biggest slice of seats since Lloyd George lead the once great party of Victorian government into genteel decline in the twenties. More and better analysis can be found here:
BBC Results Page

Goodnight.

Election Update #2

The first 3 seats are in; all Labour holds. Sunderland South was first with its results for the 4th time in a row, a new record for the mad Geordies of the North East. A Labour heartland, the sitting MP Chris Mullins was returned comfortably but- and here is the interesting thing- with a reduced majority of around 12,000. The Tories picked up a 4% swing, the Liberal Democrats 3%. The eating of Labour majorities by the Liberals may not be happening. Could this thing be decided by Labour voters who stayed home?

The BBC exit poll shows a 66 seat majority for Labour if the trends are magnified nationally, about half what they had yesterday (and around what Walter Mondale predicted). With turn out around 70% it looks like the Tories made the effort to vote in large numbers while Labour stayed put. Hmm. Not enough of a difference hopefully to bring on the self-inflicted wound of a Tory government. The national swing to destroy Labour's majority in the house would need to be about 6%. Fingers crossed it didn't get there. Watch this space.

Meanwhile, my closest political affiliates the Liberal Democrats might not have the night they hoped:
Lib Dems defiant amid poll gloom. It must be me; I did it to Nader in 2000, and Kerry in 2004.

Election Update #1

20 minutes until the polls close, 1/2 an hour till I'm home on the couch in front of CSPAN2. Tonight I'll be focusing on the counties of Norfolk, Suffolk, and Cambridgeshire, the town of St Albans in Hertfordshire where both my parental units live, and Loughborough in Leicestershire, home to brother Bam Bam. Other notable results will scroll by, but these are my lodestones.
Here is the first big story:
Hundreds wiped off vote register

Sun's Out, So's The Tories

 

It is election day in the land of my birth and citizenship! Having lived here in the States for a decade I feel somewhat like the Amhed Chalabi of England, blithely dispensing my political wisdom concerning British politics while (I suspect) my finger has long slipped off the pulse. Still, one thing I have learnt in my ten years in the USA is that lack of knowledge is actually a prerequisite for a North American political opinion so I will plunge on regardless on what has always been one of my favorite events on the British calendar.

I have never lived in Tony Blair's England. I feel a little like Trotsky, having worked and slogged in my small way for a Labour victory through my teens and early twenties, only to find myself in exile and ideologically at war with my former political bedfellows when the moment of triumph came. When I left Britain, she was in her 15th year of Tory (mis)rule, mired in political sleaze that makes Tom Delay look like Julie Andrews, economically battered by George Soros and the currency speculators, humiliated in Europe after leaving the Exchange Rate Mechanism, and it rained a lot. Now I just go there on what I call "vacation+" and have a jolly good, nostalgic time while I'm at it. I do notice that most people seems more prosperous and the Michael Caine swagger has returned to the High Street however. And then there was that tricky issue of Iraq....

The long and short of it is that tonight, probably in consultation with my pundit team of my wise younger bruvver Bam Bam* and NY/Norfolk Sage Walter Mondale, I'll try to post live reaction posts here as the pertinent results come in. Just don't ask me for analysis.
 

Lib Dem leader Charlie "Mine's a Pint" Kennedy proving he has the moves of a young James Brown

(*Because he looked and acted like Bam Bam from the Flintstones as a toddler.)

This Is Not A Baseball Blog 2

Yet another look-a-like for Mike Timlin, Boston's pitcher of a 1000 faces:
 

Mike Timlin


 

Boomhauer from King of the Hill