Caption Contest

The Horrors of War

As threatened, the Iraqi refugee clown story:

Exiled Iraqi clowns cheer refugees

Rahman, Ali and Safi are members of Happy Family Clowns group, established in 2004 to put smiles on the faces of Iraqi children. A few months ago the group started receiving death threats warning them against continuing their show, entitled A Child is as Scared as a Country.

But the clowns kept going, until two members of the troupe were murdered.

This was enough to drive the surviving three to leave Iraq.

"We don't know why they targeted us. We were entertaining children," says Rahman....

No you weren't. And while I don't advocate clownicide, I will just say that you can't squeeze in to a tiny car without the occasional accident.

Headline of the Year

From Britain's Ilford Recorder:

'Binman did a poo in our garden'

Now that's news. Sorry it has taken four months to come to wider attention.

Spring Sounds...

Eagle eyed observers of the international scene will have already spotted the story that is driving me to distraction today (the Iraqi exile clown troop with a show called A Child is as Scared as a Country: eeek!) and I promise that I will share more details later.

Over breakfast this morning however I saw the video for Chrisette Michele's "Be OK" again. I saw this about three weeks ago and went on a fruitless YouTube search for it- the actual video is still seemingly out of reach, but in the interim, here is the incredibly infectious, quite lovely song:


Just ignore the incredibly jarring and gauche first line about driving one's Lexus to the mall (yuck, tacky) and enjoy the groove...

50 pounds of suet in a 25 pound bag

From the BBC:

Ivory Coast's 'big-bottom' craze

I had no idea that I lived next door to an Ivorian Consulate. Its the fact that all my neighbors in that building are white that threw me off, I suppose. I sense twin-town possibilities; maybe some toasts with pints of "Fat Ass in a Glass"?

Operation Mersey Trout

From the British Ministry of Defence website, via my father Squadron Leader R.P. "The Bodger" Biggles-Weasel (Rtd):

"A member of Delta Company, 40 Commando Royal Marines, at Gibraltar Forward Operating Base in the heart of the 'Green Zone' in the Upper Gereshk Valley, Northern Helmand, (Afghanistan-ww) uses the open air ablutions [Picture: LA (Phot) AJ MaCleod]"
All hail President Hamid Kharzi.

A Boot to the Balkans

Ladies and gents, be upstanding for the newest (and crappiest) of all the superheroes, Captain Kosovo


Pity the nation, for 'tis the place that launched the career of pained troubadour James Blunt.

Did They Offer Nail Care Products?

From the BBC:

'Jesus' cosmetic row in Singapore
leading retailer in Singapore has withdrawn a cosmetics range with a Jesus theme after complaints from local Roman Catholics, local media report....

Apparently the last straw came when one of the priests offered an altar boy the use of his chap stick.

Armageddon (out of here if he wins)

Republican presidential candidate and professional ignoramus Mike Huckabee has a new pithy sound bite he likes to end his speeches with in order to rally his troops:

"I didn't major in math, I majored in miracles."

Well that should come in handy if he wins and has to fix the economy. The quotes from his supporters interviewed in exit polls makes for amazing listening: they sound like turkeys voting for Thanksgiving. If these folks used the same logic they employ to pick a candidate to following the rules of the road then maybe we'd be able to be rid of them through a spike in fatal traffic accidents, but no- we would never be that lucky. Perhaps we could break off three or four southern states, gift them to the evangelicals for their own country, let them be as fundamentalist as they like, and call it Talibama.

And would somebody please tell Huckabee and his moronic horde that the word is "pundit", not "pundant"? Haven't we learned how devestating it can to be the country and the world if we elect someone who can't even be bothered to find out how a word is pronounced?

I'm sincerely grateful that economically illiterate rube isn't going to win.

A Wee Friday Treat

Snow outside; beach cats inside:

Bobby Vee, an under-rated talent...

This is the most pressing issue where I live at this moment

Thanks to chum Canada Dry Mike for the following tip, from Village Soup, one of our local newspapers (I would link but annoyingly VS is one of those deluded media companies that believes that people are willing to pay to read archived stories)

Middle school issues 'ban' on intentional flatulence
CAMDEN, ME (Feb 4, 08): The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and allegedly making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus.

According to this week's "Fire Cracker" newsletter though, an informal eighth-grade publication, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"

CRMS Principal Maria Libby said Tuesday that part of what the students wrote isn't true, and though she acknowledged that there is a punishment for "disruptive behavior," she said there is no new official policy regarding intentionally expelling flatus.

"A ban on intentional farting is not true and I'm not sure if it started as a game or not," said Libby. "It is also not true that this is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions, as was stated in the newsletter, and a detention is only warranted if the behavior is deemed a disruption."

Libby added, "It's not a new policy, but farting can be considered a disruption."

According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school.

"They would do it in science class and other places," said Jordan Tyler. "It's a natural occurrence, and we all do it 16 times a day."

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn't remember where they heard it.

One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.

Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, "It's gross."

Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences.

School Superintendent Patricia Hopkins said she had not heard anything about the issue or the alleged suspected result until contacted by the media, though she did get a good chuckle out of the news.

Hmmm...

A lot of my blog friends are lining up behind Obama. This both heartens and worries me. Heartens me because I like Obama; worries me because while we are many things my friends and I are hardly representative of the average American voter.

Let's see if our kiss of death works again like it did in 2004.

Let's Go Celtics

Regarding tonight's Superbowl: Tom Brady had better protection when he was screwing Bridget Moynahan.


Congratulations, New York Giants. Pitchers and catchers report February 14th, Yankees suck.

That is all.

He has the baseball autographs- now he wants Belichick's

NFL Commish Goodell to meet with Sen. Specter about Patriot's Spygate

What's the deal Arlen? Did Freddie Mitchell put you up to this?

Nothing good has come out of Pennsylvania since Richard Sassaman.