Thursday, April 12, 2007

Breaking News: Many American Preppies Didn't Rape Anyone Yesterday

A preppy non-rapist yesterday. Face and dick have been cropped from picture to protect the innocent.

I am sure the formerly accused in the Duke University Lacrosse Team rape case are very relieved that charges have been dropped. I'm sure the prosecuting attorney who went after them in such a cavalier fashion is shaking in his boots. But was this story really worth half the 6:30pm newscasts on both CBS and ABC, and was there any reason for CBS to send glam-anchor Katie Couric to North Carolina to conduct the evening news? Was this really the most important story in America yesterday, let alone in the world?

I can't wait to see tonight's news and find out what crimes weren't committed by the Syracuse water polo team, the Bowdoin badminton squad, or the University of Puget Sound "mathletes". I'm sure whichever it is, it'll be the lead story and consume the half of the news not dedicated to health desk updates for elderly men worried about their prostates.

4 comments:

jamie said...

thank you. i almost puked this morning when i saw one of the douchebags in question (yes they're innocent, but they're still douchebags) giving his statement about how this episode has "opened his eyes to the injustices" [paraphrase]. yes i'm blaming the victim, but i wanted to knee him in the groin.

Mondale said...

Wearing your sweater over your shoulders like that indicates you as an 'instant c*nt'.
I had an awful dream last night that I was wearing a sweater over my shoulder like that. Ugggh.

mainelife said...

Egads. Anyone wearing that outfit is guilty of crimes against humanity.

weasel said...

Jamie; I think it was Tom Wolfe (in Bonfire of the Vanities?) who wrote something like a conservative is a liberal who has been mugged: a liberal is a conservative who has spent a night in jail.

As for the look, its pure Kennebunkport Kasual...

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