Thursday, January 11, 2007

Grand Atlanticism

Following last night's announcement by Mr. Bush of the "surge" in US troop numbers in Iraq, my father (who works for Britain's EmOhDee) sent along the following that had been doing the rounds of Whitehall:

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)

These mostly Southern boys will be dropped off into Iraq and will be given only the following facts about terrorists :

1. Open Season starts today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.

5. They are directly responsible for the death of Johnny Cash.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

To which I replied:

One assumes that the British will be forced to thumb a lift in the bed of their pick-up trucks due to lack of sufficient independent transport. I understand the yet another procurement mistake at the emohdee saw Challenger commanders in the RTR handed fishing waistcoats, as someone had mistakenly ordered "mullet-proof vests".

I also found this excellent photo of a Coldstream Guards officer going undercover in civvies in Basra, armed with the latest British LSW*:

What a frigging war, eh? It's the bland leading the Blair, and both are apparently complete arseheads who haven't even read a single war comic between them. An eleven year old with an active imagination would have come up with a better strategy.

(*Light support weapon)


Margaret Evans Porter said...

Having spent significant years in the Deep South, I suspect the Pentagon is correct in its assumption.

We already had a preview, didn't we, with the Haditha massacre?

weasel said...

They would be like all those dirt poor and inbred afrikaaners who made up the apartheid era "buffer against communism": the squandered legacy of the rather splendid fightin' boers of the 19th century.

What vexes me about this whole surge thing is the concentration on troop numbers: are 20,000 extra soldiers (of which only a small percentage are actual combat troops- the rest are logisticians) going to make a difference in a country where we already have 130,000 sooldiers deployed? And where we had 160,000 at the onset of the insurgency (the best time to have properly quelled it)?

Too much focus on troop numbers, not enough focus on troop mission, and already rather than focus on knocking down more pressing existing problems we are picking a bigger fight with the Iranians (who if they were as influential as cited would be more evident in the south around British controlled Basra).

It is pure government by ADHD.

SkookumJoe said...

don't kid yourself - a well placed high speed mullet can take out half a platoon