Monday, January 22, 2007

Crap Pirates

A Modern Devonian yesterday

Spare a thought for the poor M/V Napoli: not only did it run aground off the coast of southern England this weekend, but as it's cargo has washed ashore the containers have attracted the attention of modern day wreckers in the West Country. The full story can be found here, but to offer up some choice quotes and a summary,

"Barrels of wine, shoes, hair care products, beauty cream, steering wheels, exhaust pipes, gearboxes, nappies, foreign language bibles and BMW motorbikes have all been washed up on the pebbled beach. And, ignoring advice to stay away, hundreds of people have been helping themselves to the thousands of pounds of free goods on offer.

One told BBC Five Live: "There's plenty...there's a container down there - the more we can take away the better really - it's not really any good to anybody is it?"

Others were celebrating the unusual turn of events.

"We don't normally have this sort of stuff happening down here, but you know...grab what you can," an excited hunter said. "We've got some engine parts and some BMW engines - and we've all been helping together in unloading them really," another said."

This has to be one in the eye for those who claim that the traditional industries of Western England have been done under by globalisation and technology. I'd like to see Johnny Outsourcer or Microsoft come up with a better way to run off with stuff that doesn't belong to them than these ruddy and simple British thieves with their hearts of oak and beef-flavoured farts. And you can keep your urban crimes of mugging and happy slapping too: three cheers for good old fashioned rural Devonian larceny!

A colourful local "chav" steals a box of support hose from the beach; shows daily every 2 hours between 10am and 4pm (photo courtesy of Visit Devon: Britain's Home for 'Olde Worlde' Crime).


SkookumJoe said...

yeah, I'm sick of those phony displays full of east-end pickpockets and rosy faced prostitutes. You can tell the syphilis is fake.

and if I see one more dancing chimney sweep...

Mondale said...

Hooray for Wezzcundry scamps!

weasel said...

I'm very impressed with the BBC coverage for being so blatantly screwed up. When Iraqis looted Baghdad in the aftermath of the 2003 invasion it marked the collapse of civillisation. When a bunch of Countryside Alliance types and fugnut rural idiots team up to go looting its some comedy scene from Whisky Galore. Johnny Foreigner isn't to be trusted in these situations, you see...