Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Never Mind Who God Hates, I Hate Fred Phelps

"And that my child is how you disposess that spawn of Satan Henrik Larsson"

In my preparations for England's final group game against Sweden this afternoon, I came across this nugget of lunacy from everyone's favorite funeral protester, Fred Phelps:

God Hates Sweden

I can see God getting irked at the satanic conspiracy that is Ikea self-assembly furniture, but hating Sweden? How can anyone hate Sweden? Its such a damn reasonable place.

Hating Sweden is like hating pillows. I'll have no part of it. I do hope we kick the ever-loving snot out of them this afternoon though.

Jesus appeals against being ruled offside.

UPDATE AT 4:54pm EST- I still don't hate Sweden, but after 93 minutes of quiet reflection (plus a banana and a cuppa at half time) I might have to hate one Swede in particular. Nice job with the selection, Sven, you perpetually horny Scandinavian fraudulent mercenary with shit glasses, you.


Rikki said...

Well played! I tried to access the IKEA hating website, and apparently it's fried -- likely too much traffic generated by your topic. Well ... wishful thinking. 2-2 and "Down goes Owen" ... not likely the most desired outcome, but at least it wasn't a loss ... and Rooney appeared. Not so terrible, eh?

weasel said...

It is worth persevering: on another page Phelps insists that Sweden is a "land of sodomy, bestiality, and incest". And I thought that only applied to Northern Maine.

As for England's performance: we look terrible and bereft of ideas. Still, the 1990 team looked worse and took Germany all the way to penalties in the semi-finals. I don't know. Its a series of 90 minute+ visits to nervous hell for the next two weeks should we progress.

Mondale said...

I , like , got totally wasted.

weasel said...

Jolly good.