Sunday, October 28, 2007

Mid Series (?) Musings

Ahh, Boston vs. the house softball team of some anonymous charismatic evangelical megachurch (or at least that's what their uniforms and haircuts suggest). Of such match ups Word Series magic is made...

I see the Colorado fans have decided to adopt the towel thing:

Although to me it looks like a white flag. Nice to see a change from the flags one normally associates with the name "Coors" however:

At this point I hear you ask- "why is he so bitter? His team is 3 games up in the World Series and very likely to close the deal tonight. Why hate on the Colorado fans?"

Because chums, I find it bitterly ironic that for me to get a ticket- 1 ticket- to see Boston involves hours of fruitless labour at the computer, intense travel planning, and an over-the-odds purchase from a scalper. Fenway has been sold out for every game since the 2004 season. Meanwhile Coors Field is half-empty most of the year but now- quelle surprise- everyone in Denver is a Rockies fan. But, please note, not so much of a fan that they brought their own signs in to the ball park but rather gamely held the pre-printed banners that one assumes were created by the Rockies PR team. How lame where those banner-signs? How lame are those fans? 50,000 seats and they were still out-cheered by the small New England contingent. Nothing good has come out of Denver since Mork.

Tim McCarver and Joe Buck of Fox TV and Joe Morgan and John Miller of ESPN are killing me. Lads, if Manny couldn't field he'd be a DH. If Papi couldn't play 1st base it is unlikely that Francona would have started him there. There is no such thing as a "gyroball"- it is a barely breaking screw ball. Pedroia is actually 5'9" and almost 200lbs- hardly a midget. While all outs are important, to describe the third batter striking out in the first with no runs in and nobody on base as a "crucial out" is a bit hyperbolic, so stop doing it every time. McCarver, I don't who told you to base your on-mic persona on Fred Willard, but I can assure you they were putting you on. Joe Morgan: nobody wants to know about all the work you do for charity during the game, tell us about it afterwards via a press release or something. Buck, you are a puppet who trades on your father's name. Miller, get off the valium- you sound like an avuncular Steven Wright.

And all of you: I know you see a lot of teams throughout the season and therefore may not be up on the intricacies of the Sox and the Rockies, but please stop pre-scipting your talking points before the game, I beg you.

You would think that if Fox and ESPN would muscle out the local broadcast networks we fans have been watching and listening to all season long they would make an effort to be either watchable or listenable, but no.

Finally, it is wicked odd to be watching a Boston team that doesn't resemble the Titanic for the second time in 4 years. Something snapped in New England back in 2004 and I think I like the way it broke.


RPS said...

I see the Colorado fans have decided to adopt the towel thing... Although to me it looks like a white flag.

They saw how well it worked when the Indians fans did likewise.

Tim McCarver and Joe Buck of Fox TV...are killing me.

Yes. All that jabbering about the huge outfield, the pitcher having to hit, Ortiz having to play first base — and all of it hogwash.

Manny made every play in left, Ortiz was flawless in the field (including one great stop), and the pitcher had the hit that broke the game open.

Plus the Rockies outfielders didn't make two plays out there — both doubles by Ellsbury, one in center and one just fair in right. The fielders dove and just missed both hits.

Both teams have to cover the same area, no matter where the game is played.

I like what manager Francona said about the wide-open outfield, “It's Denver. It's not Mars.”

mainelife said...

Glad you brought up that mega-church, Bible bangin' thing. Do you think they'll take JD as a member of their Club? Post-season heroics not-with-standing, there's no place for a joyless guy like JD in the Idiots clubhouse.
As for the white towels, you'd think they would have watched Cleveland and learned's now 4-1, no outs, runner on first and it might be close to time to fire up the Dropkicks!

mike said...

Mork was 'from' Boulder, FYI. I think I used the mute button more during these games than on anything I can remember in recent memory.

P. Dantick said...

Mork was from Ork. Mindy might have been from Boulder.

Joe said...

Schilling, Timlin, Wakefield, and Varitek are all bible-thumpers who are today celebrating their second championship in four years. I don't see any reason to single out JD as not belonging in Boston's clubhouse.

When it comes to ballplayers, I pay no mind to religion or politics. It's all about the laundry for me. And the laundry I cheer for won last night!

weasel said...

Its their uniforms. Their uniforms make them look like a softball team made up of copier toner salemen who take great solace in the down-to-earth language of the "Scripture for Dummies" bible Pastor Choirfiddler uses at the non-denominational family service they all attend in the former cineplex on the outskirts of Denver, the one next to the Applebees (which is convenient for afterwards).

I hold no position on whether they are God botherers or not, but given that they are professional athletes in the early 21st century they probably, depressingly, are. And every man jack of them Republicans to boot, I'll wager.

Listmaker said...

i like jon miller.

Jim said...

Oh dear. You truly do hate the Rockies, my good man.

I'm only sorry I hadn't read your comment that went, "Their uniforms make them look like a softball team made up of copier toner salemen who take great solace in the down-to-earth language of the "Scripture for Dummies" bible..." until now. I so needed a good guffaw.

I must tell you that as cranky as I've been all season about pro BB, I enjoyed this post-season as much as any baseball. Even the Mrs. watched some baseball.

God-botherers, or not, as Joe said, this bunch was a fun one to watch and even McCarver, Buck and all the other lackluster broadcast surrogates of the corporate media couldn't diminish my enjoyment of the best team winning.

Like you, I am enjoying NE becoming the new, New York and hated as such by others.