Sunday, June 24, 2007

Chocklit! Chocklit!

From the first moment I dragged Country Mouse into an English newsagent's shop in search of a copy of The Sunday Sport and a 1/4 pound of aniseed balls my darling wife has been amazed the breadth of the candy selection on offer to residents of the British Isles. I'd never really considered the British national confectionery selection to be exceptional before she mentioned something- 60 million residents, 60 million varieties of chocolate bar or penny chew; it is a simple equation. But after she pointed this out, the scales fell from my eyes. Make no mistake, when compared to the abundance on hand in British sweetie shops most American convenience store candy aisles take on the aspect of a Soviet supermarket. How can this be? you ask. How can a country whose motto might as well be "like it or lump it, mate" far outstrip a land of abundance and make Americans reel with shock at the massive diversity of sugar and cocoa solids on offer?

Frankly, I don't give a hoot as to why. Instead, I propose we revel in the plain miracle that is the British confectionery industry by pondering the fact that in the great voyage of candy evolution, there have probably been more varieties of British sweets that no longer exist than are in existence today. It simply blows the mind. In order to aid visualization of this fact, I humbly present a website I stumbled across, called:

Retro Sweets

In the words of the old Cadbury's advertising jingle, "A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat". I however am a 34 year old man, so I'd like a case. Come on- it was my birthday last Thursday- you can all chip in if you'd like.


Bill Norris said...

I would give a few bucks to find two things:

1) A Flake bar that isn't fucking stale. The upitty markets here have them, but they taste as if they've been on the shelf since the Thatcher years. And I'll have no truck with the new fangled white chocolate Flakes. They are evil and wrong.

2) A Cadbury Carmel bar. The "Caramelo" on sale in the US is far too sweet and soft.

I wouldn't say no to one of those Lion things either, but you can keep the Turkish Delight.

weasel said...

When I was a kid I was taught that Turkish Delight bars and Walnut Whips were the exclusive preserve of adults and would cause children to drop dead on the spot. I imagine this had something to do with them being my mum and my dad's favorite sweeties respectively.

This from the family who taught me that too much bubble bath liquid dilutes the bubbles- a homeopathic approach to bathing if you will- so that I would use less and not cost as much money. The sad thing is I believed this until I had occasion to actually repeat it to someone else when I was about 20.

Mike said...

Flake, Coffee Crisp, Aero Bars, Crunchie - all so good.
But above all, can I just get something without HFCS in it? It's next to impossible these days to find anything in The States that isn't swimming in the stuff. Even the bottle of Tabasco I bought - HFCS was the first ingredient. What the hell?

Mike said...

In addendum, I used to get a Curly Wurly in my stocking every Christmas. You know, because it's important I get this information out there for general digestion.