Thursday, May 03, 2007

Gawd Bless 'Er

Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith photographed arriving at Dulles Airport.

Her Majestink the Quink, good old Brenda the 2, is visiting Virginia in celebration of the 400th anniversary of the arrival of the English at Jamestown. As we all know, that hardy band of settlers set the tone for all future British overseas excursions by getting drunk a lot, refusing to work, and fighting with the locals. So it is quite appropriate that Mrs. Queen is in the States, even if the people she meets either think she looked younger and prettier in her recent film or are sad that she didn't bring that nice deceased Princess Lady Di with her.

While the official reason for the visit is the recognition of the long historical ties between Great Britain and the United States, there are some who feel the Queen is hedging her bets should the Scottish elections turn in favour of the SNP. After all, the monarchy is probably regarded more fondly along the Banks of the James River than it is along the banks of the Tay.And Virginia does describe itself as a commonwealth (see Her Maj's title).

The one potential fly in the ointment is the presence of her husband and consort Phil the Greek, Duke of Edinburgh. Given his reputation as a well-known firearms enthusiast and anti-Asian bigot, officials from the Royal Household are praying that nobody brings up the Virginia Tech killings to him for comment.

14 comments:

Mondale said...

Who really gives a hoot about the Scottish elections?
isn't it enough that weare about to get an annointed Scottish PM?
The good burghers of Crustawathy and Doon can stick their oil money and sectarian wierdness, we don't need them (unless there's a war and then I'll take a platoon o' scots against a machine gun nest anytime).
Anyway, nice to see the Queen over here.

Everything is very far away and my head hurts.

My breath is funky.

Drinking is evil.

weasel said...

Well I imagine the Scottish are quite interested.

Its this sort of attitude that lost us Rhodesia, you know. And your drunkeness is neither big nor clever. As for "funky"- we are Britons sir. We could not be funky even if George Clinton himself was tickling our ribs with a feather from one of his preposterous hats.

Mondale said...

I meant funky as in smelly and unpleasant. I'm sorry.

weasel said...

Not a problem- even the stongest stiff upper lip can wobble a bit when isolated among the heathens. We must redouble our efforts to resist the temptations of picking up the local lingo. I guess.

FlyingRodent said...

Speaking as a Scotsman, I've just voted and I'm bored out of my fucking mind.

weasel said...

That's because you are a cynical, pale urban Edingburgher with a hacking cough and the athlete's foot. Get in touch with your inner teuchter FR, embrace that heathery smell and peaty squish between your toes. Hurl grouse at Longshanks' tax collectors while mooning Nessie. And so on.

Mondale said...

Hoots!

FlyingRodent said...

Yes indeed, I voted for the Duke of Cumberland and his anti-papist platform. Hopefully we'll see an end to Jacobitism within our lifetimes.

Hoots!

I hope your deep-fat friers pack in, you sordid, cackling oafs.

Mondale said...

Bleedin Scots, can't even vote properly anymore.

In my day it was reasonably simple. You put the wee cross next to the words 'Malcolm Rifkind' and bob's yer uncle.

None of this shilly-shallying aboot with computers and golf club weilding psychos n'stuff

Mark said...

For the first time ever I didn't vote. I failed to register in time in the burgh of Sandwich so was ineligible. I feel the great war dead turning in their graves at my ungratefulness....(I don't think I would have done much to stop the blue tide washing over southern england though!)

SkookumJoe said...

Being in Australia I instantly recognize that tart you are flogging off as Betty Windsor - it is of course Prime Minister John Howard.

weasel said...

Ah SJ, you got me. I also have a photo of Australian Labor Party leader (and your next PM) Kevin Rudd.

Nod- you'll have to go hop picking to make up for it. Nice pics of your Wales trip , btw.

Mondale said...

Get yer hands off the queen's arse!

SkookumJoe said...

He's a bit like that, our Kevin. Noble and sad, destined to implode and vaguely aware of it.

MainePages.com