Blair Quits

With apologies to the Onion, people answer the question- "What did you think of Tony Blair?":

Joe, former head of Staines Polytechnic Radical Socialist Society:
"He showed committed revolutionaries like me that true public ownership comes from a few trusted members of the public owning as much money as possible."






Shazira, Home maker, Blackburn:
"I didn't like his Iraq policy, but at least he didn't ask me to lift my burqua like Jack Straw. I kept telling Mr. Straw I'd remove my veil, but he kept insisting I lift the whole thing from the bottom while he kept his hands under his desk."





Brian, carpet salesman, Dundee:
"He helped Scotland to- er- pull the sword of Wallace from- er- the Stone of Scone with devolution, the first steps to independence. A few more years and we'll be able to declare war on Iceland. Revenge. REVENGE!"







The Earl of Bumchutney-Staines, Countryside Alliance Chair, Quorn:
"Bugger off, townie."










David, Leader of the Conservative Party, London:
"Gosh! He was a lovely chum but not much cop at the doing, eh? Kept a decent selection of yoghurts in the old fridge. Would you like to see my school report? I got all 'A's. Like for always, duh. Tara, chuck old bean!"






George, President of the United States, Washington DC:
"Awww shit. Lost another one. I wonder if that Sarkosy guy likes grits? He's French, so probably grits with cheese."








Margaret, former Prime Minister, Dulwich:
"Of all my children, he was my favorite. Not a blubber like Carol, and not a crook like Mark. Well actually, he was a blubber and a crook, but he was one of us, for sure."






Gordon, Financial Industry, London:
"Sorry- I'd love to chat but I'm a bit busy. Actually, could you give me a hand with these boxes? Moving is both a pain and a joy, isn't it?"