Thursday, October 12, 2006

The Chav Revolution Is Coming

Lunchtime at the Rawmarsh Comprehensive School, Rotherham, England.

I saw this a while ago and really wanted to post it, then I promptly forgot all about it. I would apologise for the oversight, but I don't think you would believe I was being sincere.

Parents feed pupils through gates

Pupils at a South Yorkshire school are being fed fish and chips through the gates by parents who say the canteen is not providing what their children want.

Students at Rawmarsh Comprehensive are not allowed out of the grounds at lunchtime, so some parents are taking their orders for the chip shop instead. They say pupils are not being given enough time or choice for their meals. But the school said it aimed to provide good quality food that helped pupils to concentrate in the afternoons.

Julie Critchlow is one of the parents who delivers pupils' orders from the grounds of a neighbouring cemetery in Rotherham while the school gates are locked. "The children aren't eating what the school provide in the cafeteria because they don't like the quality of the food," she said. "By the time the children have queued to get their lunch they haven't time to eat it. They prefer to come to us to have their food delivered fresh and hot, which is what they're asking for. We're giving them what they're asking for."

The move is being seen as a backlash against TV chef Jamie Oliver's campaign for healthy school dinners. the rest of the story..."

Back when I was a wee lad, we used to order pizzas at night and wait ninja style in the bushes for the delivery person then spring up with the money and run with the pie (it was a boarding school and such exta-curricular dining was discouraged). Either that or we would ask day pupil Mondale to smuggle stuff in concealed in the door panels of Jeff the Ford Fiesta. Now these pathetic sops have to get their parents to do it for them. The youth of today, pah.


Mondale said...

I often look back uppon my days as a Joe Kennedy style bootlegger. I look back upon them with tremendous fondness. I was simply providing the kids with what they wanted.

What they wanted generally consisted of marlboro lights and cheap vodka.
As I used to say at the time "My parents love me more than yours do and they fully support my burgeoning business venture"

There's no way you'd ever get anyone's mum to deliver cigarettes and booze. And you should never try to push gin through a fence.


weasel said...

"There's no way you'd ever get anyone's mum to deliver cigarettes and booze."
My mother does every time she comes to visit. "What would you like from England, dear son?" she asks. "200 Embassy, duty free dark rum, toast toppers, tea, and a toblerone" sayeth I.

I bet these kids look like baby birds, squawking and waving their fat, stumpy limbs like mad while their bloated parents drop partially regurgitated chips through the fence into their vile gobs. We used to have to eat what we were given and like it (except for the smuggled pizza and booze. Oh, and whatever we bought at the on-campus candy shop).

Mondale said...

Yeah, but if my memory serves me right Wymcol food was pretty damn good.

Regarding your mother's deliveries, you are a 33 year old man. Your mum is fully (and legally) entitled to bring you cigs and booze. Mine used to do the same untill I gave up everything that was fun.

I was breaking the law and was damn cool for doing so.
(is this going to be another one of those Mondale-Weasel nostalgia fests?)

Bill Norris said...

"200 Embassy, duty free dark rum, toast toppers, tea, and a toblerone"

I'll take some Dark Chocolate Hobnobs if she's room in her luggage next time she comes over.

I can get them here, but they're usually on the stale side. Ribena would be nice too.

Wes said...

So why do we keep hearing about the obese American kids instead of those of the U.K? Is it because the anorexic moms of the pudgy, Big Mac-chowing kids secretly hate them and have started a media campaign against them instead of bringing fried food to school?

And can your Mom bring me some licorice allsorts next time she comes stateside?

weasel said...

Actually British people- for all their finger pointing at Americans- are officially the fattest in Europe. I have an inkling that weight is less a national issue than a class one, but there you go. In my case, I think sitting behind a desk while still eating the same diet as my teenaged rugby playing self is the cause of my extra poundage, and also my intense love of beer. (Case in point; it is a friend's birthay tonight and Country Mouse suggested we should go for a couple of hours. I mentioned I only planned on staying for a few beers. Country Mouse pointed out that for most people, that is a couple of hours.)

I think I should open a shop and sell British sweeties online. It could be the making of me, if I didn't blow all the profits on beer.