Friday, July 28, 2006

It Used to be "Tired & Emotional". Now It Is "Unwell & Stressed". Same Dif

Ever since the J.D. Salinger of blogging single-handedly revived David Hasselhoff's career back in April, the be-permed heart throb with eyes like baby oysters has gone from strength-to-strength. The Hoff (as he self-refers) has now reached the pinnacle of fame for washed-up old hams and famous-for-being-famous folk, working as a judge on a TV reality show alongside a former child star and the adulterer/sacked journalist Piers Morgan.

Hoff has been cementing his reputation as a washed-up old publicity whore by doing a a bang up job of acting hammered and then claiming illness, apparently having suffered bouts at both Wimbledon and Heathrow Airport in recent weeks. His attacks of the vapors come on so suddenly you'd think he was wearing a corset. Perhaps he has been taking undergarment advice from Burt Reynolds? Luckily for the world, Hoff has a publicist ready to tell the world:

Hasselhoff Was Sick, Not Drunk

The whole point of this post was to point out that the above is almost the complete opposite of my all-time favorite Earl Brechlin-era Bar Harbor Times, "Woman in Trashcan Drunk Not Dead". I don't think I even need to explain the story...


Rikki said...

Superb! At some point soon, I'll have to scan in an old Lincoln County News story from my days of yore as a newspaper reporter. It sadly wasn't my story, so I can't recite the text from memory ... but I can give you the headline and the fun fact that some poor woman had the misfortune of having her photo, of the "Lordy, Lordy, Look Who's Forty" ilk, run just beneath the text in a poor coincidence. The Headline:

"Crazed Beaver Wreaks Havoc Through Jefferson"

Police provided no comment alleging that the Beaver's crazed behavior stemmed from the booze, but for some reason, it seemed to fit within the fine tradition that included Mr. Brechlin's work.

Rikki said...

By the way, I thought this might provide more support for your thesis.

Cheese ... has such permanence ...