Haircut

Overheard half an hour ago while sitting in the barber's chair at Doug's Haircuts, Rockland, Maine:

"I was in Sports Illustrated once; they came up to do a story on the toboggan championships- 1996 or 97. The fellah comes up to me and asks can he interview me- who you with I ask (Doug the barber interjects: "what, did you call your agent?"). Sports Illustrated he says. Sure I tell him. He asks me what my team name is and I tell him 'IDK'. What's it stand for? He asks. I tell him I don't know. 'Well, its your team, isn't it?' He's getting all uppity. We do this 3 or 4 times before he figures it out.

Well then he sees all the racers waxing up their toboggans and he asks what I do to prepare my sled. I reach into my pocket and pull out my can of wax and I tell him its my special wax and that he can't tell none of the other racers about it. He asks what makes it special. So I ask him if he's seen all the dead raccoons on the side of the road on his ride up here and he says yes so I tell him all summer, fall, and winter I collect the raccoons, skin them, and boil them down. Rendered raccoon makes the best toboggan wax I tell him. Well he's scribbling all this down and of course it makes the magazine. Boy, I got him good.

What was in the can? Regular old wax. And I keep a candle stub for the tips of the runners. Did you know that they get a different Sports Ilustrated out west than we get here?"