Tuesday, January 11, 2005

No Tomb or Casket Can Keep Him In

Behind the Movie Myth: The Real and Very Dangerous Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man

Funny things happen after a Republican wins (or holds on to) the presidency. For example, have you noticed the trend towards zombie movies or references when the GOP is in the White House?

Night of the Living Dead- 1968, Nixon
Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video- 1983, Reagan
28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead (remake, as the original was made under Carter and blows up my facile theory), Sean of the Dead- 2000's, Bush Jr.

See? The GOP equals zombies. No amount of pounding the stake through the chest of a right wing canard can allow one to rest easy. The foolhardy and the suicidally brave are the only ones who assume that logic, reason, humanity, and rational thought have vanquished the dark age mentality of zombies, spectres, and golems. All the book learning in the world won't protect you when walking past a red state at night.

And as if to prove it Newt Gingrich, the other doctrinaire and chubby right winger with a close lesbian relative, ethics issues, and ties to big business, is shaping up for a run for the presidency in 2008. My first thought was that this was some clever tie in with VH-1's new season of I Love The Nineties but the fat, dying wife abandoning, bad sex scene writing, air travel tantrum thrower and ex-speaker appears to be in deadly earnest. Either that or he's really committed to promoting that new book.

As part of our committment to see ourselves as others see us, lets see what Pakistan's Daily Times has to say about a Gingrich run in 2008:

Gingrich for President
"WASHINGTON: Trailblasing ideologue Newt Gingrich, who engineered the 1994 Republican takeover of the US House of Representatives, said on Sunday he may run for president in 2008, promising to fight what he calls “an Islamist insurgency against the modern world.”"

To quote the Prince of Pop:

Darkness falls across the land
The midnite hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'awl's neighborhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse's shell
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the Gingrich
Ha ha ha ha .....

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