Why Can't More News Stories Start Like This?

Fire crews hunt escaped hamster with chocolate camera

Hands Across the Ocean

Blind Belgian breaks speed record

I believe he has been made an honorary citizen of Massachusetts.

A common sight after an attempted left hand turn in the Bay State

Newsround

OK gangsters, here's your update:

(From RPS): German Journo Calls in Bomb Hoax to Delay Plane
This is why I hate Euro 08: Axis powers, the Central Powers, occupied runt countries, and lily-livered neutrals playing poncy soccerball- all covered by arseheads.

The 41st world custard pie throwing championships has been held in Kent.
You think this is quaint and eccentric: it isn't, it is "whacky" and annoying, like loud waistcoats with evening dress and comedy glasses frames. To whit:

"The national skipping championship and the Kent Welly Throwing Championship also ran alongside the pie event on Sunday".

Bush compliments Sarkozy on wife
Also: he gooses Gordon Brown, asks Angela Merkel if she is a 'goer', and slaps Silvio Burlesconi on his bald patch a la Benny Hill and his little old pal.

Mrs. Sarkosy (really). Bush wonders if he can get Laura to pose with an accordion and her flannel nightie in response.