Barak Obama: "I amazed that my opponent thinks that when I said that choosing between Senator McCain and President Bush was six of one and half a dozen of the other that I was suggesting that he enjoyed symetrically balanced bisexual orgies."
John McCain: "My friends, when I pointed out that Senator Obama's suggestion that proper tire inflation as a means to solve the energy crisis was about as useful as a chocolate teapot, I was in no way bringing race into the debate. Those sort of suggestions make me angry, and you won't like me when I'm angry. McCain smash."
Joe Biden: "My saying Sarah Palin's accumulated executive experience in small town Alaska is about as relevant as tits on a nun has been deliberately misconstrued by the Republicans. I view the Governor of Alaska strictly from the neck up, and as I can attest there is nothing wrong with being catholic."
Sarah Palin: "Bridge to nowhere... blah blah blah... thanks but no thanks... blah blah blah... Don't tell anyone, but I kept the earmarked money in Alaska even though the bridge wasn't built... blah blah blah... nothing wrong with tits as they were molded out of clay by God's own hand 10,000 years ago... blah blah blah... Has anyone else noticed I sould like Frances McDormand in Fargo?... blah blah blah..."