Monday, April 14, 2008

Terms

OK Mr. Norris: here's the first challenge issued to you, as the losing party, in our first Red Sox vs.Yankees face-off of 2008.

1. Visit your local supermarket, corner store, or bodega.

2. Purchase a carton of Tropicana or other similar beverage.

3. Purchase a sleeve of the smallest Dixie Cups (or equivalent) you can find.

4. Go to a bar, your place of work, a nearby Home Depot, or somewhere you won't get beaten up.

5. Pour the beverage into the small cups.

6. Put on your Yankee hat.

7. Offer the cups to passers by, friends, or associates saying each time:

"I am a New York Yankees fan, so can I offer you a shot of juice?"

That is all (although a photo would be nice).

The Yankees' Jason Giambi before...

...and after

9 comments:

Jim said...

I'm wondering if, instead of juice, might Mr. Norris offer shots of Moxie, instead?

Also, since we're on the topic of baseball, I think we need to find a date, say in July (when Maine's ice, snow and mud are gone and the temps stay above freezing for consecutive days) and have a blogger's day/night at Hadlock?

I'll even make this one!

weasel said...

is what them old timer ball players had (along with mud in their eye and gravel in their guts).

Scoutie does need to get to her first game sometime this summer, and she needs early indoctrination into what a boonswoggle Hadlock is...

Clockwatcher said...

That "after" picture made me throw up.

Bill Norris said...

Excellent. Very, very excellent.

I'd love to do Moxie, but I don't think it's found south of New Hampshire.

Jim said...

We may have to have a six-pack shipped from Frank's Moxie Store in Lisbon Falls.

the blue state blogger said...

I wonder if, in his pre-state, Jason may have actually said any of the following...

"People come up to me and they're worried ... that I'll ... reproduce."

Or...

"New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him."

Joe said...

I'm in for BDATB. I was there for your niece's first ballgame, I should be there for your daughter's.

Perhaps we can order up another scorcher...

weasel said...

Outstanding. As long as the game isn't 22 innings, she should be fine.

Rikki said...

For the record, you're effective use of Outline Style inspired me to search out this old favorite:

http://www.bostonmagazine.com/articles/game_over/

"... Better yet, bear in mind that the typical Yankees fan is obnoxious, condescending, and exceptionally arrogant — and those are his better qualities.

Here's your typical Yankees fan:
- His name is Vinny, Bobby, or Paulie;
- he's 5-foot-8;
- he has black hair and a black mustache that hasn't quite grown in yet, which makes him look like a cross between Danny Terrio and Bababooey;
- his girlfriend looks like Paula Jones and chews Jolly Ranchers with her mouth open;
- he just failed the firefighter test in his borough for the 10th time;
- he owns three different Yankees jerseys and makes his girlfriend wear one of them at all times;
- he wears sweatpants to bars;
- he drops f-bombs like it's his job;
- his greatest moment of the past 25 years was when Reggie Jackson slapped three homers in the '77 World Series;
- and he thinks Don Mattingly should have his own holiday.

He's also getting really angry as he reads this."

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