Wednesday, April 26, 2006

For Some Strange Reason....

....This news makes me sad:

Experts make flatulence-free bean

"Despite the obvious social concerns, there is no physiological harm from the flatulence caused by eating beans" Dr Frankie Phillips, British Dietetic Association.

Fear not little bruvva, they will neve de-fart the brussels sprout, not on my watch.


country mouse said...

I don't think it'll make a difference. I never had gas... until I met you.

weasel said...

It is my family's gift to all. A diet rich in legumes, dark beer, brassicas, dairy, and complex carbs does wonder for arse souls.

Weasel and the technicolored dreamfart.

PS: never? Not even after lobster? I've experienced what the ol' Maine sea bug does to your digestion and that surely cannot be a recent development. Not with bass notes like those.

weasel's little bruva said...

I can only say it is a genetic traite as the Emster has a farting age of 8, well in advance of her years. It is so impressive that I can genuinely pass mine off as her.

Having had clams, mussels and squid combo on Monday night I can see why Loster would do it for anyone. A true replacement for the holy trinity (sprouts, swede and parpsnips) that makes Christmas dinner so special.

Anonymous said...

Where would Mel Brooks (Blazing Saddle scene) and leslie Nielson's ( almost every mvie he's been in) careers be without gas

Le Petomaine, Jr. said...

I understand that gas is at $3 a gallon; Weasel's Little Bruvva and his family could clean up like scheming fart gypsies if they were to ever come to the States.

weasel said...

There's summat wrong with the world when a post about a fartless bean draws more discussion than this. Then again, not being listened to while pointing out the inevitable disaster ahead of us has a long tradition, back to Cassandra of Troy at least.

Being able to being able to produce farts so pungent that should one attempt the popular party trick of blowing up balloons with one's bottom the flatulence would cause the latex to perish however; now that always gets attention.

Maybe the way forward is to combine the two; as in somebody sits on Shrub's head farting while yelling "It ain't foreign oil dependence dummy! Its increased demand competition from the rapidly hyper-industrializing BRIC countries! Every increase in imported cheap Chinese plastic goods causes greater demand for oil back in the PRC. So, Americans are robbing themselves at the pump!"

Or something.

weasel's little bruva said...

We'd make more money in the UK with prices being so high ($7.60 per UK gallon/$6.40 per US gallon) Though that said around 80% of this price is tax which has been increased to stop us driving as much along with my tax liability being directly related to the CO2 emmissions of my car, my road tax is being less as my car is greener and the fact that I lose money on business trips if I get less than 46 miles to the gallon.

Maybe it'd be better to put this talent to use in designing a wind powered "sail car".