Monday, January 09, 2006

We Have The Technology, We Can Rebuild Him.

My Mission: To Go From Being Bitter To Being A Trophy*

The "him" of the title of this post being me.... Inspired by both Mondale and my good pal Boo Jones, and needing to shed 30lbs by my wedding day on May 28th, I have abandoned my habitual practice of weeknight tippling. It's not that I drank a ton during the week, but as Mondale pointed out in a moment of clarity even the odd beer or cocktail here or there soon adds up and makes the shedding of the three and a half decent sized babies I have gained in weight since I moved to the USA ten years ago a little less effortless.

I long maintained that the odd pop of an evening was only natural given my expatriate lifestyle (cf. most characters in Somerset Maugham novels), not drinking of an evening was strangely effete and puritan, and that I was following the healthy example of the French in staving off heart attacks. No more; I shall reserve my elbow bending for weekends and even then try to follow the path of moderation.

This is not to say that I shall be adopting a Fugazi-esque hardcore stance and may occasionally bend my definition of "weekend" to include Wednesday. Brewers and distillers of the world, I apologize, but occasionally one must put oneself first.

*Even if only a slightly tarnished bowling trophy.


Mondale said...

"Tis not the easy path, that of the righteous man"
"Virtue never tested is no virtue at all"
It's the little bits and bobs that add up and that's where the weeknight tipple kicks in. Likewise I shall occaisonally succumb for a birthday or visit of an old friend.
We have also managed to broker a deal amongst Brooklyn friends and neighbors, a mutually supportive "no pop till the week's stop" if you will.
I'm also running and eating more chicken and fish but I am mental.

mactechwitch said...

This is tough but I think you should do it. (easy for me to say as I fell asleep in a chair at 9:07 PM last night after imbibing 2 margaritas)
I think the ONLY good reason to give up drinking is to lose weight. I've done the "every other night" plan. Have alcohol only on alternate nights. That works too.
I don't know what your exercise regimen is currently, but adding a bit more of that into the mix does two things; burns calories and takes up time that you might otherwise be drinking.

I hope you will be giving us regular reports - your online weigh-in!

weasel said...

"I don't know what your exercise regimen is currently". I read somewhere that it is important to break a sweat and have an elevated heart rate for 30 minutes a day so I religiously watch 30 minutes of CNN headline news every evening and yell and swear at its vacuousness. When I want a really heavy workout I switch over to Fox News.

Turtle Power said...

How bout drinking while doing the NYPD workout videotape?

weasel said...

I have to admit I have yet to watch or attempt the NYFD workout but now that it is out in the open, I suppose I should give it a shot and report back. You can't really complain about a workout video found at the local discount/salvage store.

Jim said...

I think working a couple of candlepin bowling road trips into your exercise regimen is just what the doctor ordered. I'll also make sure you drink watered-down American pilsners, like Bud Light."target="_blank"

weasel said...

Man, the guy missed Oakland Lanes in Rockport off his Eastern Maine list. Although when it comes to candle pin, I stand in the shadow of Country Mouse. She is like the Mouse Lebowski with the little ball.

Jim said...

Yeah, up-to-date info is a bit sparse on candlepin. I love the term "house" used to describe a particular bowling parlor, as in, "Chip Irish has a great house."

I think we should pick a date in January, obviously a weekend and hit the 1-7-10 in Augusta. If we enlist JoeBlog and his better half, we'll each have a road trip on our hands, and not too far to drive after beers (not that anyone would get behind the wheel after beer, right Bode?).

Joe said...

Will we be wagering on the outcome of the bowling match? How many pins am I getting? I've never been to the 1-7-10 House. Not that I want the travel to be inequitable, but Good Time Lanes would be much more convenient for both Jim and I.

Or maybe we could do a home-and-home tournament.