Wednesday, December 21, 2005

At Least It Ain't Pinstripe Manny.

Johnny Damon (holding shoulder medication and still wearing his wedding shirt) ponders the true value of 40 pieces of silver: "$52 million over four years? That's like 52,000 dollar bills!"


Zip it,all of you. I'm not going to comment, but instead I hand you over to Mr. Rod Stewart:

If I stand all alone, will the shadow hide the color of my heart;
Blue for the tears, black for the night’s fears.
The star in the sky don’t mean nothin’ to you, they’re a mirror.
I don’t want to talk about it, how you broke my heart.

(and for those of you wondering what the deal is, Red Sox outfielder and cultural rallying point of recent years Johnny Damon is whoring himself out to the New York Yankees. Rabid fan reaction here).

IMPORTANT ADDENDUM: Credit where credit is due. I should point out that Listmaker (in Danny Baseball mode) called this on July 31, 2005 while halfway through the Sea Dogs/Fisher Cats game at Hadlock Stadium, Portland, Maine.

11 comments:

country mouse said...

The average IQ of the team has just gone up dramatically.

weasel said...

I wonder who the Red Sox will use as a crash test dummy for various railings, walls, other player's heads etc. now? Maybe a role for Millar (although he wasn't offered arbitration, so he might be off too).

I think Johnny Damon just wanted to stay close to Mike Myers.

country mouse said...

My mother placed a black scarf over the picture of Damon we gave her a few Christmas' ago. She's not happy.

Debbie said...

you do know that's Jack Black right?

weasel said...

Why, those scamps at "JohnnyDamonPhotosdotCom"...

Yeah, I did- it's just that he sort of looks like Johnny Damon if Johnny Damon was having a bad day and I sort of wanted to make a comedic point you see and...oh never mind.

Jim said...

With my resident Sox expert home for the holidays, we had our daily Sox chat.

Today's transcript:

Grumpy Dad: Hey Mark, did you see Damon signed with the Yankees?

Mark: Yeah.

GD: I can't believe that a Sox player would sign with the dreaded Yankees, especially Damon and his hair and beard. He won't be keeping that in pin stripes.

Mark: The Sox only offered $10 million/year; I read the Yankees eventually need to move Damon to left.

GD: That's what I hate about pro sports today--players only concerned about the $$$. When your talking $millions, what's the difference between $40 and $50 million (yeah, I know, it's $10 million!). How old is Damon?

Mark: 32

GD: I hope he has a lousy year; he's only got maybe two good season's left--he's bound to start losing a step this year or next.

Mark: Yeah! It kind of sucks.

mactechwitch said...

Debbie,
Jack Black will be playing Johnny D. in the upcoming movie about the deal. The working title is one of these: King Bong, Chancreman, Rule of Sox, Shallow Foul or Why Fidelity?

Debbie said...

Hilarious mactech!
yes Wease l knew you knew that was jack Black and I know that you know that I knew you knew.

Joe said...

Jim - maybe that extra $12 million is going to the Johnny Damon Charitable Foundation. Can't blame a guy for wanting to do good in the world.

weasel said...

Just to clarify- I don't care that Damon left. I wasn't one of his groupies, and the hired help come and go all the time. It was more his destination and the manner of his leaving that didn't become him.

Listmaker said...

i hear jeremy reed has started growing his hair long.

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