Tuesday, July 19, 2005

No Half Measures Please, Fundamentalist Christians



I'm often baffled by the concept that even in this day and age people base their opinions and decisions on the umpteenth (mis-)translation of a series of legends and apocryphal stories derived from a culture that apparently believed that snakes had vocal cords and that shrubbery could spontaneously combust. It always strikes me as odd that as technology and science has moved forward over the time, the appearance of chatty reptiles, flaming instructional tumbleweed, resuscitated lepers and so on has diminished. Perhaps by the time we invented the bbq-flavored snack food the higher power felt it was time to take his hand of the tiller a little. Or maybe he was never there in the first place (shocking thought, ain't it?)

What is stranger still is that despite this lack of critical thinking and massive display of herd-mentality gullibility, some of the adherents to this Aramaic equivalent of the works of the Brothers Grimm seem able to display a level of discernment as to which of the binding life laws they choose to follow. Hence, the condemnation of gay people seems acceptable to certain of these goons, but not the condemnation of shellfish eaters. Well, no more: finally some brave brothers and sisters have stepped up to the plate and are taking the rake to the clam in no uncertain manner:

God Hates Shrimp
"Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster...."

4 comments:

Debbie said...

I don't know if you took this seriously or not but just in case, here's the fineprint on that site

This site is a work of parody, conceived by Joe Decker and executed by Ryland Sanders.
Yes, the protestor's sign is photoshopped.

Also just in case others took it seriously

Here is the story as written in The Bible

About noon the next day the three men approached the city of Joppa. Peter had become hungry, and while the meal was being prepared, he was up on the rooftop praying. The roofs in that area were flat roofs. In warm weather the family might sleep up on the roof. The law of Moses stated that when people built a house, they had to put a wall around the edge of the roof so they would not be responsible for an injury if someone fell off the roof. (Deuteronomy 22:8) The wall was usually about four feet high.
Peter fell into a trance, a dreamlike state, and he saw heaven opened and a huge sheet being let down by its four corners. In the sheet were all kinds of four-footed animals, birds, and reptiles.
A voice told him, "Get up Peter. Kill and eat."
According to the law of Moses, certain animals were "clean"; suitable for eating, and certain animals were "unclean". The people of Israel were commanded not to eat these unclean animals. Possibly God was trying to protect them from some diseases carried by these animals.
The classes of animals are described in detail in Leviticus chapter 11. The unclean animals included the camel, badger, rabbit, lizard and pig. They could eat no pork such as ham or bacon. Fish that had no scales nor fins, such as the catfish, were unclean. Certain birds, mainly scavengers and birds of prey, were unclean; the eagle, hawk, vulture, owl, gull, stork and the bat.
What was Peter to do? He could not eat an unclean animal, yet the voice had said, "Kill and eat."
Peter answered, "Surely not, Lord! I have never eaten anything common (impure) or unclean".
The voice spoke a second time and told him that God had made them clean, and Peter was not to call them unclean.
Three times the voice told him to "Kill and eat', then the sheet was suddenly taken back to heaven.

weasel said...

Don't worry, I didn't take it seriously. And if God made Dublin Bay Prawns parve, who are atheists like me to argue with the contradictory messages of your bible?

And with no offense intended towards the MOT who might read this blog: "The law of Moses stated that when people built a house, they had to put a wall around the edge of the roof so they would not be responsible for an injury if someone fell off the roof." Jews were the best liability lawyers, even then.

weasel said...

And lest you feel slighted, personally attacked or insulted by my statements Debbie, rest assured that my atheism is of the "love the believer, be incredulous at the belief" variety.

Debbie said...

You're too much :)

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